Complaints From The Duel Monsters
by Blazing Groudon
Summary: Ever wondered what the Duel Monsters would say if they had a voice? Well they can now...and they have some complaints to file.
1. A Shining Complaint

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!**

* * *

Dear Kaiba,

I know this may seem very odd to you, considering this is a letter from a duel monster to a human. But I can't keep silent about this matter. Here is the problem.

Does anybody remember me?

No.

I just came for that one time and then never used again. Why Kaiba? You complain so badly that you can't beat Yugi when I was still in your deck the whole time. Yet, you decide the best thing to do is to create a fake Obelisk.

Seriously?

Am I really not good enough for you?

You know what? Don't answer.

Why couldn't I just go ahead and be with Yugi? I get it that because I am a "Blue Eyes", I am therefore obliged to be a part of your collection. But lets be honest here. You have way more dragons than poor Yugi. Sure he has Gandora the Dragon of Destruction. Sure he has Curse of Dragon. But does he have a Blue Eyes? No. His Grandpa has a Blue Eyes White Dragon...

Which you tore up.

So here is my little bargain: Make people remember me and I will stay with you. If you refuse, I am going off to join Yugi Muto. He needs another dragon and I think I'll be perfect for the job. Who knows? Maybe I'll even be his new favorite than that Dark Magician.

Sincerely,

Blue Eyes Shining Dragon

P.S. Just be grateful I didn't come in and blast you to oblivion. Don't you dare even ask how I was able to write this in the first place.

P.S.S Don't ask me how I can transfer myself to Yugi's deck. I have my ways.


	2. The Forbidden Complaint

Dear Yugi Muto,

I don't know how long it has been but being stranded on an island is not something I planned to do. Yugi, I love you very much. I would protect you with my life even if I had to fight a thousand Blue Eyes White Dragons.

But seriously. Why on earth did you hand me to Bug Breath?

Didn't you think for a moment that a person, who wants no competition from other people and all of a sudden asks for me, is suspicious?

Now if I had a life jacket and a folate then it wouldn't be so bad. But I was dunked in cold water without any of those items.

At least Joey tried to save me, so I can't exactly be very mad at you. But please just get me back in your deck already! I need a large towel to dry myself! I need food Yugi! I can't just live off tree bark and sand for the rest of my life! Yes I know I am the forbidden one.

But is it forbidden for me to enjoy everyday things as well?

Is food now forbidden for me?

Well, I hope to hear from you soon.

Adios.

Probably stranded and still waiting for you to rescue me someday.

-Exodia

P.S. If you ever see Weevil again. Please just dump his whole deck down the drain. That might give me a few moments of satisfaction. Also, will you hurry up and save me already?

* * *

 **I hope you guys are enjoying these short stories so far. If you guys have a certain Duel Monster in mind, don't be shy and just ask me. I'm sure they want to file a complaint just as badly too.**


	3. The Thousand Dragon's Complaint

Dear Joey Wheeler,

It has been quite a while dear Joey. I remember the good old days when I was your best dragon in your entire deck. Don't think badly of this old dragon but I just want to ask something very important.

Why replace me with that dreaded Red Eyes?

I understand he is a young dragon and probably very strong at his age right now. I know he would probably get a mate much quicker than I would. He even shares your personality more than I do. Hot headed, rude, overconfident...no offense, Joey boy.

But I digress. Here is the thing I wanted to talk to you about:

I should be the first dragon that comes to your mind! Not that Red Eyes!

You had me when I am a Baby Dragon! Where did the bonding time go? Sure, you might say that all you had to do was fuse me and that Time Wizard, that there is no bonding time. You may not have directly raised me Joey, but I still looked up to you when I was Baby Dragon. That feeling has never changed.

So it tears my heart when I see you favoring that other dragon.

Please. All I am asking is that you use me again. I'm not saying to tear up Red Eyes Black Dragon (although that wouldn't be such a bad idea). Or incinerate him (which isn't bad either considering he is a dragon so you'll be giving him a bath). Or dunk him in a lava pit (...okay. That one was maybe a bit too far).

The point is that I just want you to use me again in your battles. Just like the old times.

I know can't force you to change your mind. But please at least read this letter.

Thank you.

Probably long forgotten and yet waiting for you to remember this old dragon

-Thousand Dragon

P.S. At least respect your elders. Especially if they are dragons that fought alongside you. I'm tired of being ignored.


	4. The Winged Dragon of Ra's Complaint

**Thank you presea221 for giving the idea of Ra complaining to Marik! :)**

* * *

Dear Marik,

Yes this letter is from your Egyptian God. Are you surprised? Don't be. I have few words I want to talk with you about. Don't give me the look like you don't know. You know exactly what I am talking about.

Everybody is calling me The Winged Chicken of Ra.

I guess I can understand where they are coming from. My face doesn't exactly represent a dragon. It is easy to point to Slifer and say that he is a dragon. I understand where they are going. But I am positive chickens don't have large wingspans like my own. Yet, that doesn't give an indication that I am a dragon to them. I even hear people passing by the streets talking about me. Like this incident for example:

"Oh hey bro. Remember that yellow Egyptian God?"

"Oh yeah. The Winged Chicken of Ra, right?"

Seriously. I was this close to incinerating them to ashes. But I know it is not their fault. In fact, I know who is the one to be blamed for all of this.

You.

Before you decide to fire a complaint, let me ask you this.

Do you even listen to yourself when you talk? When you were dueling Mai, this is what you said in exact words:

"Oh by the way, I can cook quite a meal for the Shadows."

Because of that comment, this great Egyptian God is now downgraded to a piece of poultry because you just had to tell the world you were such a fine chef in the Shadow Realm. As soon as you said the word cook, I am positive everyone looked at me like I was roasted chicken.

It was from that moment I understood that my view in the eyes of everyone would change.

Don't get me started on what people said about my Phoenix mode.

So here is my deal. Actually, it isn't even a deal at all. It is more of a demand from your strongest monster. Make everyone remember that I am the Winged Dragon of Ra, not the Winged Chicken of Ra. Then you can continue with your life. If not...

Well then, I'll just make sure your cooked nicely, just like a roasted chicken.

Farewell.

Your vengeful dragon that would burn you into flames.

-The Winged Dragon of Ra

P.S. Even though this isn't a dignified way of writing from an Egyptian God, I cannot put up with this any longer. So I suggest you get moving and fix the problem. Pronto.


	5. The Dark Magician's Complaint

Dear Yugi Muto,

Unfortunately, I will not be able to battle for quite a while. You see, as you know, it is our duty as duel monsters to protect our masters and keep them safe. You know we have been doing this since ancient times in the land of Egypt. So I took the liberty of protecting your room. It was then I discovered a strange piece of equipment on your desk. I believe it is called the computer?

In the modern day, I have discovered something very important you humans use in your times currently.

It is called the Internet.

I am not sure exactly how to put this in words to you Yugi. But, why on earth did your kind create this? I understand that storytelling is a very important concept, in which I applaud your kind for keeping it. But it is about...well...I won't go into that part because that is the least of my concern.

What is worse is how they portray us.

One instance, I am a bloodthirsty vampire and I fall in love with School girl Dark Magician Girl. I do not see this logic since vampires are supposed to have no soul. I must have offended half of the Zombie monsters. I was also apparently part werewolf. I felt as though I offended Silver Fang when I showed it to him.

I know this is beyond your power to control these things, especially when you have been a victim too. So I am not going to hold this against you. But I am just letting you know that I won't be fighting any time soon for a few weeks.

Your mentally scarred yet always loyal servant.

-Dark Magician

P.S. Tell Dark Magician Girl not to see me for a few weeks. Let's just say I need to see a therapist for quite a while.

P.S.S Also, if that Blue Eyes Shining Dragon thinks he can replace me, then tell him he has another thing coming.


	6. A Harpy to Heart Complaint

Dear Mai Valentine,

Hi Sweetheart. How are you doing? It's me, Harpy Lady 1.

Hey! Harpy Lady 2 here!

Yo! Harpy Lady 3 here!

Girls...I don't think this is going to work...Poor Mai is going to have trouble knowing who is who.

Harpy Lady 2: Then let's do this!

What was the point of that? It makes this letter look awkward.

Harpy Lady 2: Well, that is the best way to get this letter across since there are three of us! Besides, humans do this with their cellphones. They call it texting.

Harpy Lady 3: Fancy technology

Harpy Lady 1: Alright. Though I am not quite sure of this.

Harpy Lady 2: Don't be such a worry rat.

Harpy Lady 3: Yeah. Don't act like a princess.

Harpy Lady 1: Alright. Anyways, we just want to tell you something very important...even if this isn't even close to a letter...

All: Please. Just tell Joey you love him.

Harpy Lady 1: The problem is that we can't exactly stand your...um...daydreaming any longer.

Harpy Lady 2: Oh my prince Joey, save me from the fanboys! I am not destined to fall for anyone except for you dear Joey.

Harpy Lady 3: Oh Joey. I am your lovely mermaid, waiting just for you. I will sing to you with my lovely voice and we will fall in love my handsome-

Harpy Lady: Girls. We are going a bit too far.

Harpy Lady 2: You got a problem with that sister?

Harpy Lady 3: Yeah! You can't tell us what to do!

Harpy Lady 1: Girls.

Hapry Lady 2: Now what, Red Head? Your gonna burst like a volcano?

Hapry Lady 3: Oh snap! You just got burnt!

Harpy Lady 1: That's it.

Anyways, this is Harpy Lady 1 writing currently. Ah, your going to have to forgive them later. I think they are still jealous ever since you tired to dress up as me and not one of them. You don't need to worry about them in the last bit of this letter. Let's just say our dragon, Harpie's Pet Dragon, found a nice cushion to sit on.

So please, just ask Joey out. Not only will you feel better, but it will make us feel better. Who knows? Maybe we will copy your brave example and try to ask out our own future mates (Don't you dare make me fall in love with one of Joey's monsters though. I want to choose who will be my husband thank you very much).

Don't worry if he is going to say no. I can assure you that we harpies are quite convincing in the art of getting what we want. Especially when we have talons to rip him to pieces and a fire breathing dragon that can demolish him if Wheeler refuses.

Just distract Serenity when we do the procedure.

Your feathered sisters that will always be your family

\- The Harpy Sisters

P.S. I apologize if Harpy Lady 2 and Harpy Lady 3 looked a tad bit beaten up when you bring them in a fight. Let's just say I will probably be the best sister for you than those two. -Harpy Lady 1.


	7. A Dead Long Complaint

Dear Yugi Muto,

I am not going to make small talk here. We are getting down to business. This letter concerns the whole entire deck of monsters. This isn't because I hate my fellow monsters. But to be honest, some of them are better off in some other deck. I am just going to give you the top four monsters that you need to replace. As soon as possible. So just letting you know Yugi, this is going to be a long list. So I hope your ready.

Let's start with the first one: Silver Fang. You know, that wolf you used to bring the Full Moon and never used again for quite sometime during the duel with Mako? Yeah. Him. Here is the problem: He keeps biting onto me.

I get it that he is a wolf and wolves scavenge for food. I am not filing a complaint to change the biology of a wolf.

But I am sick of him biting onto me every single time.

He bites me when I try to have breakfast.

He bites me when I try to read a book (I have no idea why he does it myself. I guess he hates stories that portray wolves as villains.)

I can't even get to sleep without having him biting my leg.

So please, for the love of Ra, stop him from making me his chew toy! I bet he is going insane all because you never let him participate in any other fights! The fact also that he didn't win any isn't helping at all! So either, make him win some kind of duel or just send him off to some other deck! I don't even have enough energy to hit him with a Lightning Strike anymore! I am tired of having to wash off his slobber off my bones every day!

Next one: Curse of Dragon.

First of all, are you sure he is even a dragon? Every single time he shrieks, all I hear is an eagle crying. It makes me question whether some of the dragons in our deck are even good enough to call decent. But that is not the point. Do you know what else he does that gets under my bones?

He decides to play rooster.

Every time we have to rise and shine for another day, he gives a big "roar" to wake everyone up. Really nice of him right? Well, I would agree...

If a poor unfortunate soul didn't' have to suffer as his bones to shake from the incredible loud volume. Especially directly in someone's face.

Do you know who I am talking about?

That's right.

Me.

So please Yugi. Just get another dragon. I don't care if you even have to steal Kaiba's whole deck of dragons to find the right one. You could even take his Blue Eyes collection for all I care! Just please.

Get a dragon that actually is a dragon. One that preferably doesn't shriek like an eagle.

Next one: Gaia the "so-called" Fierce Knight

Fierce, yeah right. I tell you what is fierce: a rabid Kuriboh. No I am serious. I still have nightmares of that in my sleep (While we are at that, please replace him. I can't stand McFurball anymore.) I bet the only reason why the guy doesn't look scared in battle is because he doesn't want to make his horse look bad. But that isn't the reason why you should ship him off.

He is desperately trying to get a wife. I'll even quote for you what he just said recently to Mystical Elf.

"Mystical Elf. Now that I have saved you from meeting a terrible fate, please become my wife."

That is not how you get a wife.

Also, do you want to know what was the terrible fate?

She tripped.

Apparently, the world crumbles if one of us trips. It must cause massive volcanoes to erupt while allowing more black holes to be created in the universe. Because of the disastrous effects, Gaia believes he has the right to marry to one responsible for the deed as a way for her to redeem herself.

I wonder if the knight ever learned about chivalry?

At least Celtic Guardian is more decent than this guy.

Final problem: The Magician of Chaos.

You know Yugi, I know you hold your magician's in high esteem and I am not against you at all for this.

But don't you think you have a little too many?

I am not saying to trash Dark Magician (Though with the current condition he is in, you might as well.) or any other your precious magicians...

But do you really need Magician of Chaos?

Why do I ask?

Unfortunately, Silver Fang isn't the only one that has a bad case of "not being used for a while and now driving me insane fever". You see, there is this guy which I am sure you know as the Magician of Chaos. The one monster you used to help you in duelist kingdom against Pegasus's Relinquished. He is. How do I put this?

Chaotic.

I am serious. You didn't use him for quite sometime ever since that duel and he is growing insane by the second. I can even quote what he says every single time.

"Chaos. Chaos. Chaos! Mwhahaha!" (Okay. Maybe I slightly exaggerated this part but trust me when I say he has gone bonkers.)

I don't think I need to explain anymore when I say that he probably needs the therapist more than Dark Magician.

There are some monsters though that are alright to me, so you don't have to worry about telling them anything. I'll just list the ones that are good: Gandora the Dragon of Destruction, Magician's Valkryria, Des Voltsgraph and a few other monsters. In fact, please keep them because they are what keeps this place sane.

Just in case you lost track of the main idea of the letter, I'll put it clear to you. Fix the ones that I find annoying and leave the ones I don't alone. There were probably a lot more monsters in the list I haven't mentioned yet. But they will be soon. Some other time in the future.

Your dreaded skull that wishes for a better life.

-Summoned Skull

P.S. I wrote this letter while still having Silver Fang attached to my leg. If you can't do anything else, at least take care of the wolf!


	8. A Bugging Complaint

Dear Weevil Underwood,

I felt so ashamed that you stooped low at that time to be honest. Dumping Exodia was probably the most cheapest way to ever try to eliminate competition. To think that you were called a champion. Whatever. This isn't why I am writing to you. Here is my problem with you.

You don't like us.

You keep parading around saying that "other monsters will fall prey to my bugs". But have you actually taken pride in us? What do I mean by this. Take Kaiba for example. He takes pride in his Blue Eyes White Dragons. But at least, he also takes pride in some other dragons as well (While it is true, he holds his Blue Eyes in high respect, he at least respects some of his other monsters.)

You are probably wondering what am I getting with this. Well let me tell you. You see, ever since you got Insect Queen, you held her in high regard. She was strongest monster in you deck. Stronger than me and the other bugs that we loyally serve you. But what do you think of me and the others when you are not using your Insect Queen?

Nothing.

It is as if we mean nothing to you. In fact, we are probably just snacks for your Insect Queen. That is you true purpose for why we are in your deck. You used to have me as your prideful monster. Something that you could claim to be your best creature.

But instead you trash me and reduce me to nothing.

That is worse than being called an insect.

So me and my brother, Perfectly Ultimate Great Moth, have been searching for other duelists that would be willing to have us in their decks. Unfortunately, you have put us in a situation where people see us as a representation of you. Take this for example:

"Hey man. Do you want to get that Ultamite Great Moth?"

"No way. Insects are for that Weevil Guy. I hate Weevil."

Well. Now that you keep putting us in a bad reputation, me and my brother have decided it is time for us to fly off to a different duelist. One that is willing to accept any monster.

Who better than Yugi?

But don't be so surprised. After all, there is something called karma, you know. You dumped Yugi's Exodia down the drain so it is far game for us to do the same to you. Besides, Yugi needs some insects in his deck as well and we fit the job quite perfectly. I am also positive he can find ways to summon us without the usual Cocoon of Evolution and Petit Moth Combo (But just in case, we did take them with us).

But it is not so bad for you. At least you have your Insect Queen to keep you company, right? Oh wait...

You lost it to Joey Wheeler.

Look who is the insect now.

A bug that wishes to live a better life then the mess you created.

-Great Moth

P.S. You are extremely lucky we didn't decide to feed on you when you were asleep.


	9. Slifer The Sky Dragon's Complaint

Dear Pharoah,

That is right Atem. I am addressing this letter to you. Don't you dare think for a second that you are free from all of these complaints. I am sick and tired of having everyone believe your a great duelist. Don't you dare look surprised at what I am writing. Here is the thing.

I want to go with Yugi.

Yes. You heard me. I want to be in Yugi's deck and stay with Yugi at all times. Why? First of all, I am an Egyptian God. I can do whatever I please. I am not your little puppy dog like Dark Magician over there.

Second of all, Yugi legitimately cares about me.

I can see his eyes light up whenever you draw me in a duel. I bet his heart soars when I come out onto the field and wreck the unfortunate soul in his way. Like in the duel with Marik's dark side, Yugi believed in me. I was ready to fight for Yugi right there. No one messes between me and my Yugi. You just had to give the word and I would have given Ra a piece of my mind.

But what do you do?

You make me a shield for Obelisk.

Your loyal Egyptian God that follows you everywhere just became a tool to protect another God that had no connection with you whatsoever. It sickens me to my core. The fact you also preach about the "heart of the cards" and every "monster is valuable" just makes me want to set the you on fire. I'd rather go with a duelist who would truly care about me than some pharaoh that wouldn't blink an eye if I got hurt.

Did I hurt your feelings? Good because you never cared about mine.

So I am going to go with Yugi Muto. The small Yugi who will always be my favorite and the true duelist in my eyes. Besides, it isn't fair for Kaiba to have a fake Obelisk with him and Yugi doesn't have a fake me. I think the best solution is if I actually stayed with Yugi so I can be the true strongest monster in his deck.

I am going to leave with you one more note that you should ponder very carefully.

At least, Yugi didn't let me get beheaded in Ancient Egypt like you did.

The Egyptian God that has always served under you.

-Slifer the Sky Dragon

P.S. It would not be wise to get in my way Pharaoh. If you do, you might just be another meal for me to eat leisurely with my two mouths.


	10. A Frightening Complaint

**Hey guys. How is it going? Things are getting a bit busy right now so I won't be able to update as much as I did before. I'll update whenever I get the chance.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh or Pokémon.**

* * *

Dear Solomon Muto,

There is a topic that unfortunately mixes our game rules with its own. I can't get enough sleep after hearing its name repeat over and over. In fact, Kaiba ripping me apart was more merciful than the thing I heard about.

It is called Pokémon.

The reason for this letter is that I need you to get rid of the myths that are being told about our franchise. Please fix them so I can get a decent amout of sleep. I am tired of having kids mix up our wonderful world with that of the pet profession.

 _Myth#1: Summoned Skull evolves into Exodia._

First of all, how does a skull creature get flesh back? Can anyone answer the question for me? No? Good. I am glad to know that science hasn't proven a way to give flesh back to dead creatures. Otherwise, I will be cringing at the fact that I would have to deal with something like that. I am rather glad that "Mr. I hate everything" won't become "I will destroy everything" anytime soon.

 _Myth#2: In order to summon Blue Eyes shining Dragon, you need to fuse another Blue Eyes White Dragon with Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon._

What? If that was the case then Kaibia wouldn't have ripped me apart in the first place! I probably would have been chilling with my brothers! Yugi would have suffered from the wrath of four Blue Eyes White Dragons! (I don't hate Yugi Solomon. But seriously, give the boy better dragons. He can't always depend on people with wands these days).

 _Myth#3: If Rayquaza has a Mega form, that means Slifer The Sky Dragon is going to get on too._

No.

Just.

No.

If anything at all, this just shows how weak Rayquaza is compared to Slifer. The point where they need to make a Mega form for Rayquaza means that Pokémon has admitted to the world that Slifer would trash that dragon any day.

I guess that means Rayquaza should find a way to get two mouths. Then he could maybe taste a bit of hope (Get it taste? What? Didn't think your own dragon couldn't come up with puns?)

 _Myth#4: Charizard is the pokemon version of the Blue Eyes White Dragon in Yugioh_

If I dare meet anyone who says this, I am going to blast them. Let me make this clear to everyone white we are at the subject. Charizard is an orange flying lizard that isn't even considered a dragon. I am a Blue Eyes White Dragon. I hope people can distinguish that fact. I can literarily take a bath in that Charizard's Flamethrower and I wouldn't be destroyed at all. I can assure you the other dragon wouldn't stand a chance against my attacks.

So anyways, if you can Solomon, please stop these rumors. I am tired of them and I need to get some rest. If you can't stop it, then take this message to Yugi. I am pretty sure he can do something about it.

If not, I can always try to force you to disperse the rumors. All it takes is a few scratches, a few blasts and taking a big bite out of you. I wonder if humans taste good with cookies and milk?

Your dragon that hopes to get some sleep these days.

-Blue Eyes White Dragon

P.S. I know that you are feeling thankful that Kaiba tore me up because of the homework assignment I just gave you. Just to let you be aware, if you ever decide to use me in battle, expect a White Lightning attack to the face.

P.S.S. I saw your Pokémon card collection. Don't think you are getting away clean. I know that you were protecting that Charizard card from me. Give it up. I know it is in your closet. I will find it.


	11. A Rolling Complaint

**Thank you ktkat9 for the idea of Gokibore!**

* * *

Dear Weevil Underwood,

After seeing how Great Moth and Ultimately Perfect Great Moth took actions into their own hands, I felt inspired to do the same. I am sick and tired of how you mistreat us. Especially me.

Oh? You don't know who I am? I am honestly not surprised.

I am the giant bug that attacks by rolling into a ball and squishing your enemies. Ring a bell?

Don't lie to me. I know you don't have the faintest idea. After all, I am literarily the first card you always dunk in the graveyard! But that is not the end of it. You even rip me apart to say that you destroyed Yugi's soul.

First of all, it was bad enough that you ripped me apart. My thorax still hurts from that day. But it at least gave me an idea. I will start a club where abandoned and ripped cards can join and we take down the duelists that cruelly abandoned us. You were lucky number one had things went my way.

Unfortunately, Blue Eyes White Dragon (Yes, Solomon's ) beat me to the punch and made target number one Kaiba. At least though I am vice president of the club so it is not all that bad.

The second part though is what really riled me up. You used me to act as though you ripped Yugi's soul. What on earth did Yugi do to you? Yes he beats you in card games but that doesn't give you the right to act as though you ripped his soul. You are the one that doesn't have a soul.

Do you want to know what I wanted to do when you had that duel with the Pharaoh? I wanted to just interrupt the duel. I just wanted to literarily get on the battlefield, borrow the Berserker's Sword and ask the Pharaoh to activate Berserk spell card so I can keep whacking you.

Do you know when the Pharoah says "Looks like you are out of luck" and "This just isn't your day"? I wanted to say that to your face when I kept hitting you.

But then I realized two problems again: One, you ripped me apart so there was no way for me to put that plan into action. Two: I haven't held a sword before and I realize that even if I did try to hit you with it, I would probably be rolling over you instead anyways.

So here is the deal Weevil. First thing you are going to do is to fix me (my health insurance wasn't able to cover it so you will be paying the rest). Next, you will use me for real. Let me participate in battles and let me have a positive reputation among duel monsters.

If you fail to comply then I am going to simply join Yugi along with Great Moth and his brother. What? You think this is getting old? Please. At least Yugi has a heart unlike you. In fact, the Grim Reaper doesn't even need your soul. All he has to do is use some bug spray on you and you will vanish from this world in an instant.

So be a good insect and be cooperative.

The bug that is tired of being torn apart.

-Gokibore

P.S. Don't be surprised if you see me rolling down towards you, because I really want to squish you like the insect you really are.


	12. The IQ Complaint

**Thank you Sgt. Phoenix for the idea of Jinzo!**

* * *

Dear Joey Wheeler,

As one of your strongest monsters, I feel that it is obligatory that I must inform you on something I find rather concerning. This is behalf of all the monsters in your deck when I tell you this.

Joey. Please raise your IQ. In other words: get smarter.

I am not saying this to you as an insult. It is more of a message to let you be aware of your surroundings. It is also a complaint for you to stop embarrassing us in public. In fact, if I did have a choice I would hypnotize you and take control of your brain in order to make it more knowledgeable (But it turns out you can't hypnotize people to make them smarter if they themselves aren't smart at all...Low IQ is certainly quite annoying...)

Now you might be asking how on earth are you embarrassing your own monsters? Allow me to refresh your memory. Do you recall the incident when everyone called you the underdog? That you had no idea everyone was referring to you until the last moment? I can assure you that the moment didn't exactly leave us with a good impression either.

People were questioning you behind your back Joey. They wondered how a...inferior person with low IQ could possibly obtain rare cards such as myself and Red Eyes. Even Weevil, Espa Roba, and Mako are questioning how they could lose their powerful cards to you.

That is not the end of it.

Do you remember Seto Kaiba? The guy you called rich boy all the time? Unforutnately, he created a new joke and you are not going to like this.

Recently he created a new spell card called "Heart of the Undermutt." The description goes like this: Special Summon one Joey Wheeler onto the field (Attack:0/Defense:0). This card cannot attack due to having low IQ. How Pegasus did not see this still bothers my comprehension to this day. From what I've heard, Kaiba is raking in millions at your expense.

So please Joey. Get smarter not only for yourself but for ours as well. Let's face it: Luck doesn't cut for anything these days.

Probably the smartest duel monster in your entire deck.

-Jinzo

P.S. If you need a therapist Joey, I am always here for you. I am positive I can handle your case just as well as I handled Dark Magician's...Probably...


	13. Obelisk The Tormentor's Complaint

Dear Kaiba,

I am writing this letter to you from under your bed. I have seen something so horrific that I wish I could just bleach my memories with it.

They are called Fangirls.

How on earth could your species do this to us? I would never think a woman could turn insane! It flipped my whole idea about human beings by 180 degrees (and no, I won't tell you what it was. I hate to imagine how Fanboys are as well.) Everything about these Fangirls sends shivers up my spine.

For example, hear what a few fangirls said when I was traveling in your deck:

"I wish Obelisk was my husband."

"I know right?"

"Hey sister! Back off! Obelisk was destined for me and me only!"

"I wish Obelisk could look just like Kaiba. Then I could see his muscles up close."

Kaiba. I don't know how you stand these creatures but I was this close to using Fists of Fury. It doesn't stop there. Someone said that they would even kiss me on the lips. There is a big problem with that idea though.

My mouth is literarily stuck with my teeth showing. There is no way for me to pucker up and kiss someone even if my life depended on it. I don't even know how to eat food! Or drink anything even!

So Kaiba. Please do something about it. You have money so I am pretty sure you can create some kind of safety plan for me. Like getting me my own guard robots. It actually makes me feel a bit better knowing that you slightly care about-

Wait a second.

You don't care about me at all!

You would only care if these were your Blue Eyes White Dragons at stake, not me! Oh you think you are so smart Kaiba. I am onto you. I know that you would sacrifice me at anytime just to save your Blue Eyes (You literarily scarified me for a Blue Eyes White Dragon in the duel with Ishizu. Don't think I forgot that for one second.). It is a good thing I took precautions.

The Great Tormentor who is now being tormented.  
-Obelisk The Tormentor

P.S. If you are wondering where your Blue Eyes White Dragons are now, let's just say that I put them online for sale. Business is Business and I need the money in order to arm myself and save my own life. At least Solomon Muto can buy three replacements for the one you tore up.


	14. 5Ds Special: 7 Sword Warrior's Complaint

**Here is the next chapter guys! Enjoy! Thank you** **DSX62415 for the idea of 7 Sword Warrior.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, Yugioh 5Ds or Transformers.**

* * *

Dear Yusei Fudo,

Hey Yusei. We need to have a talk. It can't wait tomorrow or a few hours. It has to be today. You see, it is how people are seeing me these days. I just can't stay silent on this matter any longer.

I am not a Gundam.

Now just in case you don't know what it means, it's basically a robotic suit that people wear. I am not something people can open and put on for a fashion show. This is my actual body and I am not destroying myself anytime soon just to make a kid have an awesome Halloween Costume.

I am also not a Transformer.

Last time I checked I cannot transform into a truck... Or a car... Or a robotic that can breath fire like a dragon...

So please fix this Yusei.

The creature trying to save his own skin.

-7 Sword Warrior

P.S. If you do not solve this issue then I am going to have to slash at some things in order for me to calm myself down. I can assure you that you and Stardust Dragon aren't going to see tomorrow when that happens. So fix the issue mechanical engineer.


	15. A Blue Dragon's Complaint

**Thank you Groundon65 for the idea of Winged Dragon, Guardian of Fortress#1!**

* * *

Dear Yugi Muto,

Yugi. I really hope you do not think badly of me when I say this but why on earth are you mean to us? I mean sure you use Dark Magician and Celtic Guardian but that isn't the point. I mean why don't you use the rest of us? Especially me?

Why did you stop using me after Duelist Kingdom?

I know I am not the strongest dragon in your deck but I am still a monster that loyally serves you. I understand that maybe this isn't your fault and that pesky Pharaoh may be the one to blame (all the guy cares about are wands). But please Yugi. You mean a lot to me. I'll even let you on a little secret: Every dragon in your deck sees you like a treasure box. Naturally, what we dragons do is that we hoard our treasure and make sure no one else takes it from us.

You can even add Fairy Dragon to your deck so you can fuse the both of us into Kaiser Dragon (though I will have to survive the cuddle wrath but I will manage). That way we can show how useful we are. At least you didn't use Kourmari Dragon after Duelist Kingdom...

Oh wait. You did.

Yugi. Listen very carefully to me. Toss that dragon out ASAP. Remember how I said all dragons view you like a treasure box? I forgot to mention the exception: Kourmari Dragon. He literarily wants to burn you into a crisp. Why?

Remember that day Pharoah first dueled Pegasus unofficially? When Kourmari Dragon was switched to Pegasus's control and he served him under his control until the duel ended? That didn't really sit well with him.

Apparently, he stills holds a grudge about how you abandoned him to one eye freak and wants to make you pay. So I naturally have to take the role of trying to stop him from hurting you...even though he trounces me because he has 100 attack points higher than me...

So please Yugi. Just use me again and let me show you how I can be the best monster in your deck.

Your loyal blue dragon.

-Winged Dragon, Guardian of the Fortress #1

P.S. I was also playing this game on your IPhone called Duel Generations and do you know what they replaced me with? Or any of your dragons for that matter? Red Eyes Black Dragon. Apparently people are forgetting that I belong to your deck only (I am not Solomon Muto's signature monster...they are looking at the wrong blue dragon...). Please fix this.


	16. A Blue Eyes to Blue Eyes Complaint

**Hello everyone. How are you? I am truly sorry this had to be short. :(**

 **Unfortunately, updates are going to be extremely slow thanks to school. Thank you guys for understanding.**

* * *

Dear Seto Kaiba,

This is from your Blue Eyes White Dragons. You know, your "prized" monsters. The three of us would like to bring your attention to two things that we were rather angry about.

First of all: Where are our vacation and sick days?

No offense Kaiba but the three of us need breaks once in a while! I mean, whenever we have to fuse into Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon, we literarily have no say! One of us had a fever and needed to rest for at least two days. What did you do? You still fuse us. Because of that, we are all suffering a fever now.

Another very important topic that must be discussed: You sacrificed us to Obelisk.

Kaiba, I can understand anyone would sacrifice a creature if they could bring forth an Egyptian God. Anyone except you. Seriously. What happened to "My Loyal Servants?" Didn't we serve you well? Yet you trash us for that Obelisk in the Duel with Rare Hunters.

So please Kaiba, just give us breaks. Even bloodthirsty dragons need days off.

The Three Brothers who are diamonds to you (aka "Your Loyal Servants")

-Blue Eyes White Dragons

P.S. Your a CEO right? Then how on earth did you miss the step of giving your good workers day off?


End file.
